Being from a family originally from Muar in Johor, our wedding ceremonies have retained some of the aspects and traditions of a Muar Malay Muslim wedding.
Merisik
A Malay wedding begins with merisik (loosely translated as spying but usually means gathering intelligence on the prospective bride) where the gentleman's family sends a representative over to the lady's abode on the pretense of making a courtesy call. If the lady in question is already spoken for, then the representative then visits the next potential candidate on the list. However, if she is available then the representative will then notify the gentleman and he can decide whether or not to proceed with an offer of marriage otherwise known as, meminang.
Meminang
Once the gentleman has decided that he would like to marry the lady in question, he then sends the representative back to the lady's family to formally offer himself as a potential husband for their daughter. It is up to the lady alone to accept or reject his offer (pinangan). The gentleman and lady are allowed to meet to discuss a possible future together, in the presence of their chaperones (his mother OR her father but never both together). If his efforts are successful, he will have brought a gift and an item to signify their engagement, usually an engagement ring (cincin tunang). This will then let everyone know that they are to be wed within a specified time period, mutually agreed upon by their families. It is also during this time that the dowry (mas kahwin), bridal gifts (hantaran), the solemnisation ceremony (akad nikah) and the wedding reception (Walimatul urus) are discussed.
Coming up next: Tunang (engagement), Akad Nikah (solemnisation) and Walimatulurus (wedding reception)
Great post! Good to know about Malay wedding and rituals performed in it. Have attended one such wedding of my office colleague at one of Los angeles wedding venues. Was not able to understand everything clearly but by going your blog really got a clear idea about it. Thanks for sharing.
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